Teens Need Church

Working with teenagers in education for 28 years and parenting 5 of my own, I can confidently say that teenagers need to attend church ... so much so, that, yes, parents should make them attend church each week. It is that important.

I recognize that getting teenagers up early on Sunday morning is a struggle, and making them go to church is a point of conflict for many Christian families, but let me explain why I think it is worth the fight.

I can point to the educational benefits of lengthening attention spans by listening to a sermon for 20-40 minutes. I can point to the brain break that a church service provides as teenagers (and everyone, hopefully) leave their phones off or at home for an hour. I can address the social development that teens experience by spending time with an inter-generational community.  I can address the spiritual growth that happens through God's word and the working of His spirit, leading to salvation. All of these are true, precious, and genuine benefits for teenagers who attend church (and maybe a future writing).

However, in this post I want to discuss five messages that teens need to hear and that are delivered best in church ... this is not an all-inclusive list and not in order of importance.

1. You are loved unconditionally.  

So much of our world is conditional, and teenagers especially feel the pressure to look a certain way, act a certain way, and do certain things to gain acceptance and love. How valuable for teenagers to hear that they are loved by God unconditionally. As parents and teachers, we can try to show love unconditionally, but we do this imperfectly. The message that "God loves you no matter what" is an important one for teens to hear often (at least once a week), and the church delivers that message best.

2. You are created with gifts and a purpose. 

One of the greatest developmental challenge during the teenage years is with identity, and this powerfully manifests itself when a teenager struggles to see his/her specific gifts/talents and lacks a purpose in life. Again, parents and teachers can help teenagers identify gifts and even purpose, but having a foundation in the Bible that affirms everyone has been given gifts with the purpose of using those gifts to serve others is a strong foundation that others can build upon. Many passages provide a positive message about gifting and purpose, like I Peter 4:10: "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others."

3. You are an essential part of a community.  

Belonging socially is another identity challenge that teenagers face. A common question during these years is "where do I fit?" Some teenagers will identify with a group of people with similar interests, cultural backgrounds, age, or personality, but a stronger community is achieved when teenagers build bridges that connect diverse individuals. Faith communities do exactly this. They are often an inter-generational group that connects people from different backgrounds and with different interests and personalities. 

Additionally, in connection with the previous point (gifts and a purpose), the analogy of the body of Christ is an important one for teenagers to visualize. As the church, we are all part of a community and, like a living body, each person has his/her individual role that is essential for the community to function well. A powerful message that the church can provide to teenagers is "you fit here and we need you."

4. You are not alone. 

Tied to belonging and community, teenagers want friends more than anything else. And, logically an often unspoken fear of many teenagers is being alone. Unfortunately, friends, during the teenage years, sometimes use this known insecurity to harm each other ... through isolating, excluding, or blatantly ditching another member of their group. Of course, this fear being left alone also comes from other life situation, such as, divorce, broken families, loss of loved ones, and even the death of a pet. God comforts us in times of loneliness with the following words ... "fear not, for I am with you" (Is 41:10).

What a powerful and important message to be spoken to teenagers: God will not leave you. The Bible has a number of verses that proclaims this truth: "I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Mt 28:20). God is the only one who can truly fulfill that promise. The more often teenagers hear this message, the more likely they will believe it and rely on this truth in the lonely times.

5. There is rest from your burdens. 

Today's teenagers are overly stressed and anxious, probably more now than in any other time in the history of the world. We see this in psycho-somatic physical illnesses, mental illnesses, and suicide. Teenagers need rest, and they are not getting rest at school, home, or their activities. Therefore, they need rest from somewhere else, like the church.

It is almost like Christ's message in Matthew 11:28 is meant for teenagers in the 21st century: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." This "rest" can be facilitated through quiet meditation, prayer, and reflection at church ... the "be still and know that I am God" message from Psalm 46. Unfortunately, church has become not a place of quiet reflection and prayer, but rather a place of concert-level entertainment that is not peaceful. However, the message is still there ... find rest, peace, shalom in God.

I want my students and my own children to hear these messages as often as possible from as many different voices as possible.  That is why teens need church.