One expression used by parents and teachers in previous generations is "children should be seen but not heard." Unfortunately, if this phrase is actually said, the implication is that the parent or teacher doesn't really want to see or hear the child. While not a phrase heard much in public anymore, in practice, it manifests itself today in classrooms and homes in unspoken ways, e.g., a parent who uses devices to silence children on road trips (and flights) and a teacher who talks for the majority of the class time.
Quiet reflection and careful listening are important skills for children to learn, especially today, but as educators (and parents) working with children of God made in the image of God, we need to ensure that each one is seen and heard every day.
I See You
A powerful expression used today to show appreciation, attention, empathy, and understanding is "I see you." Educators can demonstrate this expression in verbal and non-verbal ways by literally speaking the words (or similar ones) and by a smile, nod, side hug, or fist bump. Take the time to communicate that you see every student every day.
Public recognition (in front of class) is a great way to encourage further positive behaviors or communicate that you value each one, e.g. "Jack, I appreciated how you held the door for your classmates today" or greeting each student by name (and with a smile) at morning check-in to say, "I'm glad you are here." Additionally, quietly catching a student in the hall to thank her for contributing to classroom discussions or writing a note of affirmation on a test can make a student's day. I still remember a professor from college who wrote a thank you note on a test to show his appreciation for my good effort and hard work. It meant a lot to be seen, and it inspired me to put in greater work in the future.
"Heard"
One of my summer binge shows was "The Bear," an intense show about the kitchen operations in a Chicago restaurant. Although I don't endorse the language used in much of that show (if you know, you know), I was impressed by their shorthand communication style. Due to the speed of operations, when the chef gives a command, the kitchen workers, yell "Yes Chef!" Another word that was used by the listener, especially in deep interpersonal communication, was "heard." That one word represented so much depth ... I hear you, I understand what you are saying, I feel the emotion behind your statement, I was truly listening to you. While this is a casual, succinct response, sometimes that is all that is needed to communicate powerfully. In our technological age, we struggle with face to face interpersonal communication and conversations often happen with both parties glancing down at phone notifications. How affirming for all individuals, made in God's image, to know that they were truly heard.
As a teacher, there are many ways to express to your students that you hear them. Again, this can be done both verbally and non-verbally. However, it does take slowing down ... don't move on to the next point, if a student provided insight with a comment. Stop, recognize what was said, show appreciation and encourage others to contribute likewise. But you don't have to say anything; in fact, a pause after a student comment to show that you truly are considering what was said is a powerful way to demonstrate that they have been heard.
Listening well, truly hearing students, must be modeled well by the teacher, but you can also develop discussion protocols that will help students say "heard" to each other. One discussion technique that I used as a teacher was to require students to start every comment with the words, "I agree with ... " (or I disagree with). This forced students to listen to their classmates (and the teacher) before making a comment. It took some practice, but it enriched every classroom discussion, and unexpectedly, it caused more students to participate. I believe it increased both the depth and breadth of classroom discussions because students knew that others were listening, truly listening. Heard! Students (and all of us) want to be heard.
As Christian educators, we glorify God by seeing and hearing each child made in His image and placed in our care. Of course, this seen and heard principle applies to spouses, neighbors, friends, also.
Heard?
