Listen Up!

The mayhem of 2020 has pushed me to be more reflective. Why is our world such a mess? Where's the gap between what is and what ought to be? How should we as parents, educators, leaders act to help heal our wounded world?

The problems swirling around our world in 2020 are multi-faceted and complex; thus, the solutions are not simple or simplistic ones. However, let me suggest a first step.

We need to listen better.

I've been struck by how the majority of our modern modes of communication are broken. 

The classic communication cycle include two individuals: 1) sender/speaker and 2) receiver/listener.  A speaker sends a message to a listener; the listener responds by providing feedback to indicate that he/she has received the message in the same way that the sender meant it. Then, the roles are reversed; the listener becomes the speaker and the speaker becomes the listener ... to embody a complete communication cycle.

Effective communication is a beautiful dance between two (or more) people. The irony is, in our modern world with so many ways to communicate, we've forgotten this basic cycle, and we've eliminated the listener's role.

Let me provide some examples ... 

1. Social Media -- The "sender" posts a message on Twitter. The message is sent, but there is only a limited way to see if the message was received or if the "receiver" understood the message the same way that the sender meant it. Yes, a "receiver" can "like" the message, but rarely does the receiver reciprocate and become the "sender." In fact, if someone responds to a posts and disagrees with it, the chances are pretty good that the response will die there ... and the person will be blocked. So while social media posts can reach thousands of people, the mode represents a broken communication cycle.

2. Protests -- Although I believe that protests have their place in society, bringing awareness to injustice, this mode, for the most part, operates without a true "listener." Huge crowds assemble to chant and display signs with powerful messages, but who is listening? Like the example of a social media post, the message is sent out, but it is unsure that the receivers are listening, or, if they are listening, there is no way to gauge if they understood the message the same way that the protesters intended.

3. Television News -- Stations like Fox News and CNN have devolved into talking heads promoting a position on a topic. The majority of the time on these stations, the silver tongued host editorializes, what used to be a small part of the news called the "editorial" or "op-ed." When an individual with an opposing view is a guest, the host spends little time truly listening; in fact, the time with the guest is quickly and frequently interrupted, challenged, and refuted (and sometimes belittled).

4. Political Debates -- Politicians in "debates" are not there to listen. They are primarily there to catch an opponent in a faux pas and to repeat their talking points, whether they align with the question or not. btw, those who teach 'Speech and Debate" cringe when these spectacles are called "debates" (as they should).

5. Corporate Worship -- Worship, if designed properly, is a beautiful example of the communication cycle: God speaks to his people, and his people respond to the message. Traditionally, the service opens with a God's "call to worship" and the church responds with praise or a prayer; the service continues with the church's "confession of sin" and God's "assurance of pardon"; the sermon is God's word to the church followed by praise or prayer response from the church; the service ends with a benediction from God and the church's response with a "doxology." Without getting into too much criticism of the modern church, this beautiful cycle of communication is not seen in most churches today.

So What?

You may be wondering ... "Okay, we don't listen well today, but what does that have to do with the problems of today?"

First, in reflecting on the cultural mess that we are stuck in, I can't think of an issue that couldn't be improved by listening well. Political division, racism, church schisms, COVID-19, BLM, defunding police, school choice, creation care, homelessness, etc. ... listening to the other side would help.

Second, learning requires listening. Academic Freedom, a term largely used in higher education, implies that students learn best by listening well to a wide range of ideas and positions, and then pondering, researching, and challenging those positions. This belief is at the core of a liberal arts education (a liberating education); this philosophy leads to brain stretching and ultimately individual freedom and empowerment (as you know, "knowledge is power"). When only one view is presented by a teacher or professor, the student is robbed of that power that only critical thinking can provide.

Third, listening honors the imago dei like nothing else. If we believe that every human being is created in God's image, then we ought to value what each person has to say. To truly listen to another human being, especially one who doesn't think as you do, is the simplest ways to love your neighbor. In essence, a listener with humility is saying ... "I respect your views, your experiences, and your words; how can I learn from you?"

Now What?

Modeling listening is an important action step, and one that is really difficult. However, if we (as adults) want to raise up a generation of listeners, we have to show them how to listen. Most of the examples that children are seeing (as listed above) are not good examples of listening well. Here are a few action items to address the lack of listening in our society.

• Social Media ... don't just hide/block individuals with different views than you; take the time to listen, ask for clarification, seek understanding ... or invite them out for a cup of coffee to listen and seek to understand.
• Protests ... sit down with those who are planning to protest (before the heat of the moment); invite them to express their views in a town hall meeting or over a cup of coffee to truly listen.
• Television News ... limit editorializing and focus on reporting the facts; instead of seeking sensational headlines and sound bites, networks should run uncut versions of speeches and interviews. Invite opposing viewpoints, listen to them, and genuinely seek to learn from them.
• Political Debates ... each candidate should prepare (research themselves) a set of topics, develop position statements on those topics and follow the rules of debate ... including listening to the opponent.
• Corporate Worship ... churches should return to a communication liturgical rhythm of God speaking and his people responding.

Teaching listening to the next generation is a vital next step. Educators (like me) believe in using curriculum content and pedagogy to change attitudes and behaviors. This is a tall task due to all the modes of communication that hinder listening, but it can be done. After modeling good listening, show students how to "be still" and how to approach every conversation in humility, ready to learn from another. It truly is a discipline that needs to be taught and practiced in school and reinforced at home.

In James 1, everyone is admonished to listen. He says, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak ...." Of course, there is wisdom there, unfortunately our world does just the opposite, and that is one reason we are in such a mess.