As I reflect on educational "leading and learning" for this blog, I can't help but focus on loss ... the loss of spring events for high school students, like prom, theater productions, athletic seasons, and graduation. Additionally, I can't help but think of the "road not taken" and wonder, along with Robert Frost, how our choices have "made all the difference." Unfortunately, in this situation, we can't take both roads or live regretfully thinking about the "road not taken." We must continue to lead and learn through this time.
Although we can debate the actions taken by our leaders, we can all agree that the virus and the subsequent "solutions" have negatively impacted our society. I have especially been reflecting on how the extended "stay at home" directives have impacted our social-emotional development and mental health, especially for our students.
My previous two posts focused on the learning for students and leaders; this post deals with social-emotional health.
If you look up some of the symptoms of depression, most people have felt some or all of those symptoms during this extended quarantine ... here are the ones I've felt.
- Feeling of sadness, loss, emptiness, hopelessness
- Irritability or frustration over minor things
- Sleep disturbances like insomnia or sleeping too much
- Tiredness, lack of energy, and a lack of motivation
- Eating challenges, like reduced appetite/loss of weight or eating too much/weight gain
- Heightened anxiety and worry
- Trouble thinking, concentrating, or remembering things
- Physical pains, like back pain or headaches.
Recognizing the impact that the quarantine has had on your social-emotional health is an important first step, then take steps to counter each of these areas. Some simple (but not always easy) actions to take are 1) healthy eating, 2) regular sleep patterns, 3) exercise.
Each of these strategies helps maintain a balance in brain chemicals (like dopamine and serotonin) that regulate our emotions. So that is a good start, but what else can we do to improve our social-emotional health during a pandemic?
People Need People (and Relationships take Work)
Quite simply, we are created for community and when extended family, friends, and our greater community is taken away from us, our social-emotional health tanks leading to depression. One would think that this is especially true for extroverts, those who gain energy and "fill their bucket" by spending time with others, but (I can attest) introverts are also impacted by the extended quarantine.
Realize that "people need people" and relationships, especially during this time, take a great deal of work. During a quarantine, seeing friends at school or church are not happening naturally, so we all need to be intentional in maintaining and growing relationships (outside of your house). Even if you have to do this virtually, continue to check in with your social circles. Set regular patterns of communication that you and your friends can count on (e.g. call grandparents every other day; set a regular time to video game with friends); use this time to laugh, catch up, and just hang out.
Although it is important to follow laws and guidelines for social distancing during the pandemic, it is also important to creatively find ways to "see" your friends, extended family, and neighbors. Throughout the quarantine, the best news stories have been where individuals find creative ways to see their friends or family: teachers "parading" to visit their students, grandchildren giving kisses to their grandparents through glass windows, and friends meeting to watch a sunset (each in their own cars). Continue to creatively uncover ways to connect with others during this time.
Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, communicating and seeing friends will fill your bucket. Connecting with your friends is hard work during a quarantine, but what a great life lesson to learn during this time: relationships are important and they take work. Don't forget that one!
Serve where you are Stuck
You've heard the expression, "bloom where you are planted"; well, a similar sentiment during this time is to "serve where you are stuck." Although you may feel stuck at home, look for ways to serve your family. Instead of focusing of being quarantined and the loss that you are experiencing, look for new opportunities to help out at home. Service projects help you feel better emotionally. This is called a "helper high", essentially endorphins are released in your body when you help someone else, making you feel better.
Look around you and serve where you are stuck. Service at home should start with simply keeping up with your daily chores like cleaning your room, picking up after yourself, and making your bed; however, those probably feel more like obligations and actions you are doing for yourself. In order to achieve the "helper high," look for ways to help other members of your family: cook a family dinner, make a special coffee drink, vacuum an extra room, or wash the family car. Spring is also a great time to work in the yard or do some "spring cleaning." Be creative in finding ways to help and serve your family.
This is a powerful life lesson: serve where you are stuck. Unfortunately, you will have times in your life where your circumstance will make you feel "stuck." Instead of focusing on your "stuck-ness," consider ways to serve those in your environment. Your service will both help those you are serving and help you feel better too.
As we look to re-opening our society, don't waste the lessons we've learned.
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